The hunt for the perfect singal chain

I've selected the Manley Labs Vox Box on the side as one consideration. Basically i was too lazy to Photoslop a bunch of high end channel strips together! ~slurps Beer~

I really don't know which channel strip would be right for me but I've always liked the idea of a box simplifying the signal chain. I'd be more than happy to just hook a mic up to a box and strum my guitar and sing adding a little(okay a lot of )convolution reverb.

There are just so many channel strips out there. One claims theirs will do this another claims theirs can make toast etc etc. I'd almost have to A/B about 50 of them to really get a sense.

What are my needs? Besides the money to afford what I'm daydreaming about? My first need is a transparent signal chain that is musical as they say. What does that mean to me? Oh that was a good vintage. Really my ears should perk up like a German Sheppard. There should be good headroom. There should also be an almost aphrodisiac quality.

The compression must be pleasing....which reminds me do I even want compression? I was watching a video for a Chandler product that was based upon some EMI gear the Beatles/Pink Floyd used. They showed a drummer clean then compressed like he was in a trash compactor with C3P0 crying away. I hope that wasn't the minimal setting I thought. It sounded like a zit overdue for popping.

Being totally ignorant of recording music history but opinionated enough to form a decent theory I'm going to say the main reason music from the past had so much compression is it was being marketed over the radio and had to make sure they didn't blow up all the radios? Okay maybe that doesn't work but I do think the music and broadcast industry set certain standards that all music was going to be placed in a condom called compression. I do believe if they let some sounds go out of control with wild dynamic overtones it could damage the very small radios of the day.

Sometimes I guess I would seek heavy compression but for vocals and guitar I really need transparency. So would an Adl 660 Tube Limiter be the ticket? Anyone got $14,000?

For EQ keep it simple.

Dream Microphone Telefunken U-48

I think this one on paper sounds like the microphone for me. When I read the list of those who used the Neumann U-48 or even the U-47 I remember the songs and the immediate warm sound of the vocals. I'm not talking necessarily about how great the room they recorded in sounded but rather the coloring or spice that was added to the mix.

Tubes rule if anyone thinks they don't they're not very human. Yeah tubes wear out but the warmth and musicality they lend to the capturing of a performance are unparalleled.

When you listen to a song that used a classic tube microphone for the lead vocals you are hearing the microphone there can be no question of this. I'm speaking of pop music that tends to record vocals up close and personal.

everything I've read had great things to say about the Telefunken line in general. Why the figure 8 one though and not the cardioid one? Well the figure 8 is a little more versatile for capturing just a little bit of room noise or for creating a nice slap back effect if you set the microphone up next to a wall or reflective surface. Yes I follow no rules.

Oh I'm sure there are numerous other microphones out there I'd like better than my Blue Bluebird. I'll find something good in everything. I just seek something great. There are many other more affordable U-47 type remakes but to hell with that, this is my dream, 'member?

What would I even do with a U-48 Telefunken? Besides replacing my rubber ducky Saturday night? oh...I'm not one of those squeaky clean people....I like things a bit smoky....A U-48 would be used to record my Classical guitar that I tend to strum with my index finger and thumb during heavier passages and pluck with my finger nails during delicate passages. Mostly I enjoy rhythm movements that resemble or come across as a machine of sorts. Most of the compression I employ is with my fingers. Nylon strings do hip around a bit but that's okay. I tune down and there can be some buzzing that's okay...tone...if you want totally clean I hear Chinamart has some neat Casio keyboards on sale.

Then being one to go against the rules I like my vocals recorded with my guitar. You see the guitar can fade into the back ground a bit. I'll position it just right for balance but I really can record with 1 microphone and see absolutely nothing wrong with that. When I sit under a tree in the middle of Summer playing my guitar and singing I don't think hmmm why don't I play the guitar, stop, sing,and that way....You see it's unnatural to leave a singing guitarist without his acoustic instrument.

So the vocals need to have a large warm classic character. If they don't i'm going to overdub them again and sound like the Carpenter Beatles...err ants...Adam? There's nothing wrong with nakedness. Sometimes the less going on the better. Please say no to plaid.

So if I had $8500, the Telefunken would be the Microphone I'd choose. So what if it has too much retro cool vibe going on....what's wrong with that? I do cringe when I see some of the people who can afford one....What do they do with it? Sing about love? Blahhhh

Corpseheads

This particular corpse head is a little bit special. Most of the texture is the result of a foam latex mask I had used several times before. So in a sense I entombed my former "alter ego" countenance for posterity. This is a particularly pleasing corpsehead. I went again with the hollowed out eyelid look which I think is far scarier than carousel horse eyes. Furthermore it is more realistic. Unless your eyes are glass they're the first things to rot.

I just know that Nancy Grace visits this page and makes lots of disturbing faces! lol

I love the flexible neck area if you will. There is something perverse about it. Of course the phallic tongue is now becoming a sort of trademark in the Billy Bogart line of corpseheads. I was also very pleased with the colorization.

Maybe I should go see if the local museum would show my works? Haaaaaaaa!!!!

Edgartown Yacht Club Regatta 1939 1st Prize "Fantasy" cup

You're viewing a 1939 Edgartown Yacht Club Regatta Trophy Cup awarded to the Yacht Fantasy of the Wianno Class/Senior Class.

The silverplate has worn away considerably on the inside but is for the most part intact on the exterior. There are a few dings.

However this is not being sold for it's silver content. The cup was manufactured by Poole Silver Company, Taunton, MA 2103.

The Yacht Fantasy was constructed in 1914. It now rests in the Mystic Seaport Museum. Edward or "Ted" Kennedy participated in the 46th Edgartown Yacht Club Regatta Friday afternoon, July 18 1969. That was of course the regatta he attended before the tragic event at Chappaquiddick.

According to a newspaper clipping from the Edgartown Gazette Fantasy(Jean Hinkle), W 3:59:38 Wianno Knockabouts 1st Division. Start 1:50 P.M. 8.75 miles. The article's title was "Regatta Provides Thrilling Finishes".

This trophy is for sale. However I consider this to be a historical item so serious inquirers only. The Yacht that won this regatta race rests in the Mystic Seaport Museum. The name Hinkle is a famous name in this particular sport. Why James Hinkle has a regatta named after him as he along with the Yacht Fantasy won numerous races in the early part of last century.

Tiger Woods OD'd!!!

So the truth finally comes out. You have to wonder how much he paid the cops off not to press charges? If anyone else did that they'd be charged with wreck less driving under the influence of a controlled substance. DUI!!!

Let's see Larry Johnson called someone a fag or homo and he was drawn and quartered. Why last night I heard Mark Knoppler from Dire Straits use the word fag in a famous song. Oh it was okay because the fag got rich? There seems to be a double standard in life.

So now your black simpson god has been tossed from the pedestal, what does that say about the products he pushed? Good enough for a drug addict? Let's come up with some headlines, shall we? "Tiger Woods on Dope", "Tiger Woods addicted to Pain Killers", "Tiger Woods no better than Anna Nicole Smith", "Tigerto go into drug counselling".

What if someone was walking behind his driveway at the time or near the hydrant? Look at the damage. Tiger was STONED! Let's stone him some more, shall we? Maybe we can get Woopie to walk off my set.

Why is 1 person selected to be THAT famous, that RICH? What did he do with the fame and money besides live in a tacky looking oversized house, go to strip clubs every night and run up a $1500 tab per visit? All the while the media defines him as being squeaky clean. Clean enough to make $100 mill a year pushing crappy products? Let me advertise for Gillette. Let's see...Oh you better not I might mention Gillette razors have been getting duller and duller so you have to buy more as they wear out during the first use.

Oh I see the whole thing, ILLUSION! You should see it to. People are not what they seem to be. Everyone has a hidden agenda. Everyone has skeletons. As long as you're going to suggest otherwise I am going to rip you a new one.

Madonna calls Paul McCartney boring

Madonna said:

“People have told me, ‘You could just go out there and play guitar and sing your songs like Paul McCartney,’ but I’d be too bored,” the New York Post quoted her as telling Rolling Stone.

“Most of the joy of the shows is the magic of creating them — theater. I’m a perfectionist. I like hard work. I like to sweat,” she added.

Paul responded:

“That’s the big wardrobe change of the night,” the Daily Express quoted him as telling the German crowd, baring a white shirt and black braces.

“Madonna eat your heart out – or words to that effect. I’m wearing something simple, do you like it?” he added.

Now my response: Let me get this straight the venereal girl thinks that rolling on the floor like a $3 prostitute some how constitutes talent or hard work? Exactly what is she even known for? Rolling all over the floor like a $3 whore. She's part of that late 70's early 80's lamo New York theater culture. You didn't even have to go to broadway to see the painful performance of syncopated costumed rhythms. Every television show had some sort of dance reference. Why even rockers like Billy Squire started dancing around like he was in "cats".You might as well place a pendulum metronome on stage and call it hard work and sweat. All those lame 80's groups that perpetuated this crap into the 90's and beyond.

A dancer is a form of a prostitute, nothing more. They belong in the background.

Madonna of all people should know her place. Then again her elocution lessons have her thinking she's something other than a Rosie O'Donnell type. She has a long history of being ashed of where she came from. She sung "papa don't preach" and then became a pseudo-jew(as if the world didn't have enough of them). She made it a point to have her children raised in another culture. You can't polish a turd.

I remember Paul McCartney talking about he didn't want to spoil his children. He also didn't want them going to Eton and high browing him.

Paul is coming across here as being more down to earth and Madonna "plastic. Plastic soul baby. Truth is choreocrapped dance muzak has no soul...it's meant for idiots and other tasteless fuckfaces.

Tiger Woods shouldn't even matter

Golf? What the hell is that? A boring old sport where impotent men can get away from their nagging menopausing wives?

Look at all the advertisements too. It's all Cadillacs, Grey Goose and other so called "fancy things".

Like all sports I suspect where there's lots of money there are games to be played and will be played. That is to say there will be some tweaks. Someone should really investigate this. I believe with so much money riding on a shot the "games keeper" makes sure that ball heads towards the hole or away from it depending on the purposeful outcome.

Is that to say a golfer can't make the shot or shots? No but with so many zombies watching hypnotized into believing this is time well spent the last thing you want to do is have something go wrong. The greater idea is to distort reality so the average Joe believes in a tangible god. Up until recently Tiger Woods was that person.

How would they manipulate the ball? I think that's rather easy with magnetic force and or gyroscopes. Gyroscopes? Sure why not? The people who run this world will try and do anything to pull the wool over our eyes. So someone needs to dress up like Carl the assistant greenskeeper and start digging for golfers I mean gofers.

So they trumped up this so called "black man" named Tiger Woods. He happens to have a little cream in his coffee but they thought they could pawn him off as black. Okay he happens to look like Bart Simpson was left out in the sun too long but they figure why not say he's black.

Why promote a black man in an almost exclusively white activity? It's a form of distraction. Black people will simply look up and see some supposedly black guy(recently called his wife ghetto) doing well and think "We've arrived". Many wont be buying Grey Goose but they'll buy Nike products and Wheaties etc. It's purely a marketing gimmick. Since the 60's especially some white people(a great many) feel they owe the black man something. So they present to those white people a black man(highly dubious) not saying Yo every other sentence. They bow right down to him.

Now the shit hits the fan and Tiger is out clubbing and rubbing someone(some people rather) other than his wife who clawed his face and whacked him over the head with a golf club after confirming he cheated on her. This trumped up "sports star" who make over $100 million in advertising dollars catering to a wide spread demographic is now behaving like an NBA/NFL star.

What is next? DUI? Well he was on meds and hit a hydrant. Gun possession? He has been shooting his load. Racial slur? Well he did call his wife ghetto despite being the one "clubin' it".

I see him as a white man in a black (bart Simpson like) man's body and so ashamed of it he likes to spill his load in every white whore he can. Issues for tissues.

So much for your trumped up hero. I don't know why people are duped into thinking thos on pedestals are so perfect. It's like I said we're all a bunch of timid atheists making new gods every day so we can somehow make sense out of our mortality. We build them up and break them down just as quickly.

So without further adieu let the worship begin. I accept all major credit cards, checks, money orders and cash. I will also accept real estate, slaves, and farm animals.

I may try a corpse head the way others do it

Now over on the left there is an aged skull I did a few years back. Those Bucky skulls were some of the best 4th quality ones I've seen.

Now all I did was stain it several times with 1 color and poly. The eyeballs were loose. I left the jaw on the spring and the calvarium cut was not glued.

Now take a good hard long look and you wont see much difference between that aged skull and the corpse heads people are selling with horse eyes for $80.

Let's look at the main differences and discuss what makes those skulls so much better.

Some of those $80 corpse skulls are 4th quality. So the calvarium cut was either glued and concealed or glued in the process of concealing with various things. I'm not exactly sure what they used but it could have just been some kind of adhesive that wouldn't create or leave a ring around the skull. Cotton balls or some sort of fabric could have easily been deployed. It's hard to say for sure what they used since I'd really have to hold one.

The next difference is the hardware is all removed and the jaw is set in place. Now it could have been glued(very weak and would eventually fall off even with liquid nails) . Or it could have been nailed or screwed on. Any method used would require concealment.

A carousel eye was used which is maybe $5-$10 tops.

Artificial skin was created either with liquid latex alone in layers and or liquid latex and a knee high stocking stretched over the skull, cut up and manipulated to look as if only a little skin was left on the corpse.

I admit when I make my own brand of Corpse Heads I perform a lot of concealing. I'm not exactly sure how little I would have to do to duplicate the recipe mentioned above but not much at all.

It takes me a few days to totally complete one from start to finish at a leisurely pace. On a sunny summer day and or with the aid of a heatgun/hair dryer I could probably complete one from start to finish "fresco" in 20-30 minutes.

To employ the minimal effort method I could probably complete one in 5-10 minutes with the aid of sun or heat to dry the latex.

It's not that I am bragging about my Corpse Heads or Corpse Skulls it's just I know my limitations and know they're few. My hands and evil mind are exceptional. What's more is I don't create necessarily for a living. I create because the process satisfies my carnal urges. Halloween is October 31st but Horror is 365 in my life.

HALLOWEEN-SKELETONS

Really in the mood for creating some Horror Rock

I guess what has prevented me from creating more timeless hits like "Meet Me in the Graveyard" is the fact I sold a lot of my equipment!

Let's see...I sold my Fender Highway 1 Jazz Bass(which wasn't bad even after some fuck head crushed it)to purchase my dog.

I sold my Ampeg Jet for a young French exchange student named...you didn't actually?

Umm I had an old effects processor I sold for beer..I mean food.

I NEED FUCKING NEW GEAR! I want to have a geargasm.

I'm thinking I can cheat until I get another bass by using either my keyboard(broke down) or pitch shifting. The former does allow me to access Rickenbacker, Fender Jazz, and Hofner. That's probably the ticket because I've yet to hear a pitch shifter that didn't make a guitar sound like E.T. masturbating.

I have cool drum samples..nice LUDWIGS! Add the lush convolution reverb and I'm all set...save for 1 thing?

AMP SIMULATOR AND FX!

GUITAR RIG 4 PRO is in my crosshairs. I want it and I want it now. I've downloaded free guitar amp simulators before but they tend to either bug out or sound like an Atari 2600 fart contest. Guitar Rig has the amps I want! It's got the cool effects too. What's best of all is it doesn't sound like crap!

I love to put effects on acoustic Guitars for a spacey sound. I also love the 60's garage type sounds or the heavy reverb treatment heard on Screaming Lord Sutch and the alike.

For my vocals I have that free convo...it works fine save for the delay but it's FREE.

I've written a lot of horror songs including satires and borderline parodies. I think I come across a hell of a lot better than death metalists who sound so insecure as they put on this video game voice. I swear sometimes I think they're saying "I'm Ganon Link and Zelda is my love muffin now bugger off before I stick a wooden sword torch up your gas laden arse"! They can't sing so they growl. They're not very tough naturally so they work out a lot and get lots of cheesy tatoos. I'm not about any of that. I'm a psychotic lyricist.

My new Corpse Heads

As you can plainly see I've improved my designs. Actually I always go for the death freeze old lady look! :P

Truthfully I did improve certain areas and made the process much quicker while still maintaining quality. I love making tongues! I used to just forsake them. The tongues really say a mouthful.

This corpse head and others are available on Ebay. I haven't set up a website yet. Money money money. www.corpseheads.com